Thanks for everyone that commented... this was my first submission, just happy I didn't get last. I'll take your suggestions and try again next time. :)
I think the composition and cropping work well. Its a good idea. The lighting is a bit "hard' though. The white highlights tend to get the focus of attention. There's also a hair or something similar in the top left that detracts from the image.
You might want to check your image before you submit it for stray hairs ... lol ... either thats a hair at the top of the bar or a pencil mark or something. oops .. hehe I do that all the time
Looks like a hair at the top left and the bar is beat up. Did you taste while shooting? LOL Try covering your lights a little to soften the glare. All the best.