Nice composition and idea to this one. However, the lack of sharpness in the model, the high noise, and especially the very over-saturated umbrella make this a sub par photo. You are on the right track though!
Things feel a little soft, but what's hindering things more for me is the red light from the umbrella. Just makes me feel like I'm in a dance club or something. (not voting, fellow entrant)
Nice fun portrait, but the red is so overpowering her face. Also the eyes are very dark. I sort of keep looking into them trying to find some brighter part.