Hmmm, I see what you were getting at, but a few things concern me. First, the computer's strand actually draws my eye in a lot. But mostly, the black on black says "floating head" which would be a cool effect, but not for a modeling portfolio.
You can't see him and he is not engaging with the photographer. I really don't see what a modeling agency can do with this shot. It would tell them nothing about this man as an individual. 4
I don't understand this shot for the challenge. I don't think this could ever be presented as part of a portfolio to a modelling agency, I don't understand why the left half of the image is completely black and I don't understand why there is a weird computer stand in the shot either.