Greetings from the Critique Club.
Hello Jon , I’m Alan.
Let me start by saying I wish I could noticed you before we filled out our DPL team, I think your future here looks to be exciting.
I think you did a good job telling a story, or in this case song (a very good song at that). A nice play of the real with the surreal and I’m a bit surprised someone on the Posthumous thread didn’t showcase it. A proper critique should include a nit-pick or two, but to tell the truth I like it as is. Fantastic work..
If you have any questions on my insights please feel free to PM me.
Alan.