Composition is interesting with head on a diagonal. This resulted in three diagonal sections to explore. The focus is and seemingly too soft even for a soft focus portrait. Typically the eye will be well focused contrasting with soft features elsewhere in the face. The soft eye really detracts, yet remains expressive.
Color and contrast appear to be flat, taking away from the impact of the wonderfully dramatic expression. This is accentuated by the flat lighting.
With respect to the challenge, I believe the technical limitations of the photograph outweighed the emotion and brought the score down. Some of the voters commented on the makeup as well. Overall, I like the idea, and feel the emotion, but the technicals need work.
The soft focus and harsh light do not work for me here. Perhaps it's the lighting, but it appears her makeup is a bit blotchy. I think that this concept could work with different lighting.
Lighting is a little flat/harsh. Looks to be an on-camera flash job. Try and get light from an off-camera source if possible to give the subject a bit more depth. Also, try to keep focus on the eyes; this seems to have meandered towards the hair a bit.
I didn't enter, but I had thought about it and this was exactly my concept... I didn't have the makeup around the house for it. I think you did a good job with the eye makeup as it de-emphasizes the lashes (which Asian women do not have as fully) and the lips are done quite well. Composition is very dramatic and the stare of the model is engaging. Lighting and focus could be improved to make this even better.
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