I would crop out the left side and burn in the remaining pillow to darken it so it doesn't compete for attention. This would also place him more off center than he is now. Other than that it's a wonderful shot of a good looking lad.
Cute child. The lighting isn't bad. Before I read your notes, I thought it was from a window. I would have placed the flash higher, in order to light up his beautiful hair. I think a vertical crop that is tighter and eliminates an uninteresting background would help.
I am not an expert on anything photographic but here are my thoughts:
I'd like to see the subject stand out from the background. The left side of the image is very distracting where the pillow is. I'd prefer a much tighter crop to eliminate everything except the subject. You need to do some pp work to get the skin tone correct as it seems to have a green tint.
The subject is very cute and I love the expression. I think this could be a very nice picture with a little bit of pp to fix what I mentioned above and you could really make the eyes pop.
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