This is Megan, my youngest daughter. She sat for six photographers the other day and it is amazing that we were taking pictures in the same area but they look so different, depending on the photographer.
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Sorry, I just can't be comfortable with the eyebrow stud. Apart from that, which quite negatively pulls my attention. Yes, I know: it is my problem, not hers.
I think that with this composition the tilting of the head is causing me to look at all that blank space on the one side. Because the crop is so tight I would have had her tilt it the other way so that my focus would have only been on her and more specifically the stare which you were going for.