First Impression What and why? What is she holding, and why is she dirty? I'm fascinated by her gaze...what is she looking at so intently? Why does it hold importance to her? I look to the title for guidance in finding answers to my questions. She is confused by what she's holding. It's a foreign object to her. I look to the challenge theme for more clarification...it's bread. She doesn't know what bread is? OH! She's dirty because she lives in poverty and bread / food is scarce. I get it. :-)
Positives a) Wonderful lighting and clarity on the girl.
b) Very nice conversion to B/W with good tones overall (although slightly limited in range). c) I like the use of positioning to keep the subject off-center.
Items of question a) The bread is not readily identifiable as bread IMO, and is slightly soft in focus.
b) I was thinking at first that the exposed area of bread may be too bright, but it actually works as a positive in drawing some attention to the bread object (secondary after the girls face).
c) The dirt...a bit too much I think, and I'm not sure I'd have put it on the bread.
d) The black strap (or some item) that cuts across her front unintentionally makes her shoulder and arm float like it's detached because of the black surrounding areas.
e) One other consideration is the positioning of the girl in the comp - did you consider having her gaze slightly angled with her being body being setup to allow the viewer to more easily move naturally left to right and back again (bread, arm, face creating a triangular viewing rythmn)?
Overall, a pleasing image that holds the viewer's interest longer than a fly-by 2 seconds. I think that is reflected in your score and placement, well above average for this challenge theme.
Questions or comments? Let me know. I generally comment without looking at feedback from others' so as not to be influenced one way or another. I've held true to that formula here and have not read other comments at this point.
Hi Juliet. I pulled this from the Critique Club queue tonight and somethings come up which prevents me from commenting at this moment. I promise that I'll come back to this in the morning. :-D With tonight being a rollover I wanted to make sure that by commenting now it'll be available in the morning. Thanks. :)
Very moody--almost surreal: like she crawled out of a withered brick wall just to ingest some bread. Of course, the thing about being a character in a mural is you probably wouldn't know what to do with the bread. Great work.
I think that she should have a bath before she eats lunch. I am thinking that you are going for the poor person gets to eat theme here, but the dirt is just over the top to pull that off.
I love the starkness of this photo and it really captures a mood/atmosphere - it'd make cover art for some cd/album, but it is difficult to tell what she actually has in her hands.
I'm guessing a starving child's reaction to food? If so, it doesn't quite work for me; she just looks dirty. Good concept. Great low-key photo. I like the grittiness of it all.
A nice idea with good lighting - but to be honest if this wasn't in a 'Bread' challenge I wouldn't know what she was holding. Also the blackline / shadow going over her shoulder effectively seperates her arm from the rest of her body and leaves it floating in space.
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