I think this is a good portrait and I don't mind the feet. I think getting closer would have helped, or had her stand a few feet from the wall. I notice when that close to the background it is hard to get any separation and models seem to blend. Also I don't think the lighting is that harsh although some of her face has strong shadows. What I use is a piece of foamcore covered in aluminum foil. If you put this just out of the frame on the right, it would bounce some light onto her face and soften the shadows. That lens you used is great for portraits, dont be afraid to get close and use a large aperture like 2.0 or less, :) Personally I think this should have scored higher. :)
lighting is too harsh from the side; lots of overexposure on the jacket/arm; pose isn't very interesting or engaging; composition is to weighted to the right
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