This shot has so much potential. The focus and exposure are great. I love the nice relaxed expression you captured. I like the crop too. I hope you won't mind my sharing a few ideas of what I would like to do with it.
In an extreme close up of a girl this age, I would do a significant amount of retouching. I find the darkness and texture around the nose, and the specks on the lips distracting. I would use the healing brush to clear up any blemishes, and a very slight surface blur to smooth any roughness in the skin. I would also remove the hair covering her eyebrow. The eye is a beautiful feature, and I think it could be enhanced by slightly burning the edge of the eyelashes like eyeliner. The white of the eye almost looks painted. I might use the healing brush to remove the worst of the red lines, but I'd leave enough detail to keep it real.
I don't know if these "enhancements" would make it a better photo, but I think the girl would enjoy it more.
Interesting effort here - the eyes seem a bit overdone to me - too white in the whites. Also, not sure if it real or not, but the skin looks a little oversmoothed.
I know portraits are not your comfort zone and I think you did a really nice job with the lighting and the tones and colors. Does this mean I have to try some portraits now?!
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