Positives:
Model capture and intense flesh tones suit this image well. Has a nice middle eastern feel to it. Flesh tones have an intense strength to it. Well done with the eyes and upper facial expression which gives the viewer reason to care to know more about your subject.
Technicals:
In this image the eyes are most important and you nailed that capture very well. Focus, color and exposure are generally OK but not exceptional.
This will sound like nit picking but there are some small technical faults that collectively affect the score. There is white haloing around red wrap's edge. The image is just a smidge oversharpened as shown as in the model's hair and a slightly overly mottled look to the skin. There wrap below and to the left of the model's face is out-of-focus. The DOF of this image is high enough to warrent having the whole image sharp. Lighting from the left is great but the depth of shadow on the right side detracts from your overall effect. You might consider another light from the upper or lower right to brighten the right side slightly.
The Challenge:
Ironically, gender may have played a role in your score. Females done in this style do better. This well-known DPC kiwiness image sets the standard for this particular image style:
You will want to study and cross compare this image to your own. You'll see all the things that make it better than yours. You will want to note what those are and emulate them. It is possible that a collective memory of this image negatively affected your score.
nicely lit and focussed. For the title to really work I think it needs to have a different backdrop though. Something darker and more gritty with the figure looming out of the darkness.
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