this seems more like a snapshot than a portrait to me. I understand you may have been trying for an expressive shot - perhaps cropping in closer to her face to get rid of the distracting background would help.
Based on the title we can assume this lovely little girl is sleeping, but because of the orientation it appears (without help from the title) she's sitting up reading, particularly given the position of her arms. As such, it detracts from the photo as you'd expect from this "pose" for her eyes -- open wide -- to be the focal point.
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