Something about the angle is unappealing. I see what you were going for but I don't think you quite captured it. I also find the background conflicts with the subject. It's very busy and she already has a very busy top on.
Beautiful model. Lighing is perhaps a bit harsh on her left eye but other than that it looks nice.
Perfect light on the left side of her face, but the right side looks washed out to me. A different colour fabric that matched her outfit better would really help too.