Most people look right at someones chest when you meet them be it male or female we all do it. Its an insecurity thing. I thought this would be an interesting way to show what people really look at first.
i did nothing to this picture except maybe tweet the contrast but a touch.
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I think you needed to show more of the model, or have a different crop. The vest is overpowering, and kind of makes the picture hard to read. Also, the lighting is a bit harsh - direct flash at close range, perhaps.
How can I say this without sounding rude. This doesn't instill lust in me. The black and red top is nice enough, but the depth of field has left the neck and right breast horribly out of focus. The chin needs to be either in or out of the frame, not just on the edge. The skin at the armpit has blown out in the highlights except for that little spot bang on the edge of frame.
There is sooo much you can improve on here. I hope the comments above are taken in the right way and help you understand how to present your work to better efect.
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