Thank you for your comments on my photo. They are very helpful, several things were pointed out that I didnt realize. Being new to dp I have a lot to learn and I am looking forward to all comments or suggestions that will help me to become a better photographer. :)
The light looks a little to harsh for me. Maybe some side or overhead lighting would help. I think that if this shoot was softened a bit it would help.
If possible, try bouncing the flash off a wall or ceiling. That would prevent that dark dark shadow. Is she kneeling on the floor? She's like an unnatural setup.