I used a long shutter speed to capture Mars in the sky, with both the camera flash and a second flash to the side to illuminate my telescope with me looking through it.
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your camera either has a lot of hot pixels...or you were going for that effect? That aside, it's a good idea. I might have like to see a different angle on this to add more "excitement". Maybe shooting more down the barrel and cutting out some of the body. Tilting the pic a degree or two to straighten it out...