"DEATH'S PERFECT CALM"
- A new psycho-thriller from the makers of the bloated trilogy “Lard of the Rings.”
An unspeakable terror stalks the drooling yokels of the somnolent community of Lake Crikey, a mysterious ingénue swims naked in the lake at midnight, and the aged but still serviceable sheriff must dust off his old large-format evidence camera to photograph it (the terror, not the ingénue).
Starring ROBERT WARD as the Sheriff, LESLEY GOODMAN as the Mysterious Bather, ART ROFLMAO as the Unspeakable Terror and AZNYM ADAM as the Leprechaun. Also featuring ED CLARKE and SKIP ROWLAND as Drooling Yokels, and introducing ZEUS ZEN as the Coroner. Cinematography by J Lawrence A.S.C.
WHAT THE CRITICS SAY:
“If you miss only one movie this summer, make it this one!”– New York Times.
"Sucks." – Plumbing and Draining Monthly.
“Fabulous! Another Roflmao tour de force!" – Lake Crikey Examiner.
“Beats me.” – S&M Digest.
“Robt. Ward is mesmerising!” – Hypnotists’ Weekly.
"Formulaic." - Mathematics Today.
“Don't write this one off!” – The Chartered Accountant’s Journal.
“Predictable.” – American Clairvoyant Quarterly.
“That African chick’s hot.” – Beavis and Butthead.
WARNING: Contains excessive violence, lurid sexual references, immoderate language and gratuitous use of Neat Image. Adults must be accompanied by an impressionable adolescent.
Post Challenge Comment:
‘Death’ was supposed to be represented by the cross formed as the light post intersects with the horizon; a subtle suggestion of a grave marker standing at the head of the jetty. Alas, it was so subtle as to be imperceptible. Hopeless for a movie poster, which should of course be undemanding and brutally unequivocal (bit like DPC, really).
Statistics
Place: 42 out of 207 Avg (all users): 6.1343 Avg (commenters): 7.8889 Avg (participants): 5.9697 Avg (non-participants): 6.2941 Views since voting: 1607 Views during voting: 324 Votes: 201 Comments: 23 Favorites: 3 (view)
I don't know. When I see this, all I want to do is walk all the way to the end and keep my problems off my head... Now work, no computers, no relationships... no nothing (!)... very nice photo.
I just hope I won't get killed before get back... because of the name :P
I swore I commented on this during the challenge. I guess not ;~(
This is minimalism that speaks volumes. The calm of the water, with the possibility of what lies beneath it's murky surface, is always a universal fear. Despite my history of swimming prowess (my Dad was the UT swimming and diving coach, and I was his assistant for private children's lessons in the summer), I have this fear of drowning or being grabbed by some horrific monster like in "Jaws."
On a happier note, it also emotes "the first day of summer" when right behind the photographer is a line of kids giggling and screaming, just waiting to run down that pier and jump into the water, making the smooth shiny water, turn into a circular splashing paradise.
This might be one of those that could be fun with lots of post editing, but you know me... I go overboard sometimes (no pun intended)
Just read the editing notes and I am screaming with laughter. You are one imaginative DUDE. Just think if that REALLY were a movie. Sheesh, we'd all be millionaires.. oh wait, you would.
This is very good; I don't remember seeing it in the challenge, but I didn't vote on very many of the shots..again, lovely tones and feeling to the water...only thing missing is a body floating below the surface(I'm thinking of maybe a mannequin stuck under water on the right)...you know I think it must be the wine I had last night..what a bizarre thought.
Greetings from the CC
Well, this is a pretty good image, but what I like more than the image is the accompanying story...very funny.
I like the leading line in the photo as well as the perspective. I also like the flat of the water.
I also like the composition and that you placed the pier on the left so the turn went into the image.
What I think may improve it perhaps taken at a time of day with nicer light ( tho this may take away from the mood of it) And my biggest criitism is that I would of cropped a wee bit off the bottom so that the line of the last plank would hit the corner of the photo. (hope that made sense.)
Overall nicely done, congrats on the well placed finish.
Lynn
Hmm, lost this one somehow, comment wise. Nice finish, but you wuz robbed really; I gave it a 9 myself. I like this very much, and most definitely got the cross-reference (to make a weak pun)
There's plenty of nice shots in this challenge that don't have titles that are credible movie titles and that I find hard to imagine working as movie posters. Yours in the other hand fulfils both criteria and is a good shot too. Well done.
As I maintain with this concept - three words are not usually great for a snappy movie title (and I couldn't spare time to improve mine either - which I hate!). Great viewpoint here though but I reckon mono would have improved this - or a very supbdued, heavily edited desaturated execution.
Simplicity itself! so hard to pull off well. I love the composition and colour of the float. My only thought would be would it look better if the float/pier thingy started in the corner? (picky I know) oh, and I'd love to see a b&w version. 7
beautiful picture. the tones and colors are great; wonderful use of leading lines; the composition is spot on. this picture communicates 'perfect' and 'calm' very well. I do not, however, see 'death' in this photo.
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