Hmmmm... Okay. So the first issue that stands out is the lighting. Flash=bad. (This rule can be broken, but aren't all rules meant to be?) I like the semi circle shape, but the far right set of hands juts into the center blowing the smooth flow of it. The colors are a bit distracting too. I'd try this as either, desaturated 50% or B&W.
i like the idea, and the composition is good. but the flash is too harsh. try to use ambient light with aonly a little fill flash. most cameras have a portrait mode that has a lower level flash and lets you cpture the light around as well.
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