seems like you were trying a bit to hard on this one. the shot its self is well composed but the red effect that were added seem very out of place and unreal especially on the lips of the lady all the way on the left
The use of selective desaturation is not very effective in this photo. In fact it is very disturbing. The bright red lips and cheeks on the women give them very creepy and clownish appearance that doesn't appear intentional.
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