I had a few ideas, but opted for this one in the end. I did want to take a photograph of one of my boys with fruit-cake. But childrens pics don't always go down too well.
I rotated it 90 degrees cw, and cropped. I also auto level and contrasted the image. Then I colour balanced/curves to bring the wood out more.The finally +16 in contrast.
The shutter speed was on auto, and came out to be 1/1000, which I am not sure if it will be noisey. I don't understand the noise thing!!
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interesting take on the challenge. I would have preferred the image to be completely in focus rather than just the points, but that is my opinion - you may have been going for something different. The lighting is a little harsh and in some spots blows out the detail slightly. Good luck in the challenge!