Just some thoughts on this. To improve this photograph, you may have wanted to look for another way to use the light in a more creative manner. This has a very shallow DOF and it seems like some bokeh just pops out too much where it should not be the focus of the picture. Well that's just my 2 cents worth. Nice shot though and good idea.
The idea is great and original, and the omposition is just the right one, but, though I'm far from being an expert, I think it is too soft and has too much blur. Anyway, congratulations on your picture.