intrusting idea and all putting bolth body language an conversation in to the photo but i think that the mistake you made was in your composition ie.-the other girl on the right (in red) could but is not convade as being apart of the same conversation therefore she adds a distracting element to the photograph. If she were too have an expression as the girl on the left does it would be more believable that she is part of the convo. or at least lissining in.
overall nice work on the incorp. of the body lang. w/the convo.