I shot this on a whim -- just like the original. For challenge purposes, I wanted to see if the idea was even worth pursuing. When I decided it was, and tried to improve on it, I couldn't get it right again; the photograph was either out of focus or blown out by the flash. Or both. Or the framing was off. Never try to improve on a snapshot.
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i liked this one quite a lot. probably didn't need the light on your mid-lower section though. flagging aside this is expert - i'll assume you wanted that there and so we've gota little disconnect.