I love your idea! It's a great concept supporting an interesting story. Unfortunately, I think you are right about the risk for the creature's shadow to be unnoticed: as you know, eyes are often attracted by bright areas, and there are more of these on the left of the photo, so the shadow is not obvious in the first few seconds of viewing. Nonetheless, kudos for working on such entries, can't wait to see your next story-telling images!
I like the props, composition. Also the way the candle light reflect off the chair is pleasing. One thing I don't care for so much is the appearance of another light source being used. So many other images were well light by what only seemed to be candle light. Perhaps a different white balance would have given a nicer affect.