Back in the silver and chemical days, we used a uv filter and put a little vasoline on it with a Qtip, leaving a strip across the center not oiled. By changing aperture, you get different effects.
It's not a processing action, but does get results that you can see as you set up the shots.
have you seen This old post? I might have to PM you for the action. Could have sworn there was a thread about how to do it...different than the OP said...but I can't find it.
If anyone wants it, PM me, and I"ll email it to you. :)
I, like tez don't even understand why you'd want one. It only takes a couple simple steps and your point of focus needs to be set to correctly achieve the end-product...