Washington, DC: President Bush signed a job-training bill into law Friday to ease the elderly back to work and "end senior loafing as we know it." Bush told a cheering group of nursing home residents that, "There is no free lunch. Cooking and cleaning keeps us fiscally fit and gives seniors moral fiber." Amidst much laughter he added that, "We all know you folks can't get too much fiber."
The newest jobs are ideally suited to the elderly, whose decreased capacities are a perfect match for the tediously monotonous routines favored by employers. GOP plans call for training elderly fry cooks, janitors, Wal-Mart greeters, and nuclear waste disposal experts. The latter is deemed appropriate for those of advanced age, since long gestation periods for cancer don't matter to seniors who will die soon anyway.
What's interesting to me is that when I DIDN'T hit the "I'm feeling lucky" button, the number two listing was Jimmy Carter, number three was Michael Moore, and number four was Hillary Rodham Clinton.
Actually, according to an article in Newsday.com
"The phrase appears nowhere in the bio. But computer users rigged the search engine results by posting the phrase on Web pages and linking it to the Bush bio, in a technique called Google bombing...
Search engines work much like an index in the back of a book, allowing people to look up words and directing them to the page in which the words appear. The search engines scour Web pages to create the index. In this case, computer users wrote links labeled "miserable failure." When users click on the link, it brings them to the official Bush bio.
When Google software creates its index, it notices the association between the phrase "miserable failure" and the Bush bio. So a search for the phrase brings up the bio."
ah yes - and one of the original "bombings" is still out there. Type in "French Military Victories" and push I'm feeling lucky - it says there are no pages and asks if you meant "French Military Defeats".
