this from a very interesting conversation held recently with my peers:
if you could control an army of squirrels... what kind of squirrels would you control, and WHY?
i chose red squirrels because of their insane metabolism and ferocity.. flying squirrels don't do it for me.. not as practical as you'd think.. anyway.. FOOD FOR THOUGHT.. HAVE AT, FATTY!
The problems with an army of red squirrels are firstly that they are very rare, thus making your army much smaller than it could be, and secondly, reds are smaller and less vicious than greys, thus my army of grey squirrels WOULD DESTROY YOU!!! WOAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAA!!!! :o)
Golden-mantled ground squirrels, because then you're not dependent on trees, and I don't particularly like heights anyway ... besides, then they can always try and pass for chipmunks and stay out of the fight altogether. (I have a pacifist army.)
aww man, you're so wrong about the gray squirrels being more ferocious! and i live in minnesota.. so i don't know anything of the rarity of red squirrels.. they're rather prominent here.. we even have black squirrels here (a mutation i believe)
Definitely white squirrels. Because they are rare, they have special protection where they are present. In Olney, IL, they have the right of way on every street, residents are fined if they leave town with one and the police patch bears its image. In Marionville, MO, also with a sizeable population of white squirrels, common grays are trapped and kicked out. Five towns and cities in the US and Canada are squabbling over the claim as the white squirrel capitals of the world. There are white squirrel festivals and even a white squirrel song. Imagine yourself having control of an animal population with such power.
It has to be Kibiab (sp.?) Squirrels of the Grand Canyon rim. They are Federally listed as Endangered/Threatened, so the humans will kill all that bothers them, so they are the one fur sure.
Did I neglect to mention that my grey squirrel army are both zombies (hence the lovely grey colourscheme), and ninjas (just for the kickass heck of it)? ;o)
I don't know about the rest of you, but my oldest daughter is worshiped by squirrels. She just has to walk down a wooded street and they throw offerings of nuts and other stuff at her. They do whatever she says. I think they believe her hair is actually a tail, and anything with a tail like that should be worshiped.
you've got to be kidding me! they sound about as tough as.. a dead fish.. red squirrels are tight! theirs is the color of BLOOD. ;)
I already said they were pacifist squirrels, more like Gandhi than Patton. Besides, I thought squirrels were so much more sensible than people that they'd rather spend their time "going nuts" than raising taxes and an army ...
