I'm just going to post what I sent to my family and friends :)
I have a sign on the side of my desk that reads:
DO NOT START WITH ME
YOU WILL NOT WIN.
I think I need to have Melissa's chorus teacher read this. She has been trying to write a song for a couple of weeks now, the words were slow coming but she had the chorus down right away. She finally got it done this last weekend, sang it to me and I thought it was nice. Certainly not going to be breaking into the charts anytime soon mind you but for a first effort it was nice.
She decided she was going to sing it for her chorus teacher and ask his opinion. Fine, that's part of being a teacher, encouraging and helping your students along, right?
She was late coming out today and when I asked her why she told me she had stayed after chorus and sang the first verse and chorus to her teacher.
"What did he say?" I asked.
"I expected more from you." she said.
"What? Anything else?" I asked.
"No, just that." she replied rather quietly.
Now I know my daughter and I know she's disappointed in the teacher's reaction. Last week her and Taylor sang the Shaving Cream song for him and he didn't think it was appropriate for school and I would agree with that.
So I went back in to talk to him and hear his side of the story knowing how Melissa can sometimes not tell the whole story. He was in the office talking to one of the aides so I waited.
When he was done we went out into the hallway and talked.
"I understand the reason Melissa was late coming out is because she sang a song for you after school, is that right?" I asked.
"Yes, she did." he replied.
"And I understand that the only thing you offered back in way of comments is something to the effect that you thought she could do better?" I asked.
"Something like that, what she was singing was not really age appropriate and certainly was right for school." he said.
"Did she tell you that she wrote the song herself?"
"No, she never mentioned that."
"Well, she did," I said, "and I know I what I like and don't like about music but I couldn't begin to help her with the different aspects of writing a song and the music, which she doesn't know how to write and I think she was hoping you could help her with that aspect of this."
"Well, I don't know what you allow her to do at home but I really don't think the song was appropriate for her age, the rocking of the hips and the Oh Baby, Baby just didn't seem very good for her age."
BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ! He just touched one of my hot buttons, questioning my parenting and how I raise my children. Now mind you, if I was doing drugs, drinking like a sponge and playing x-rated movies on the television all the time, or beating her or abusing her in other ways or leaving her alone for hours and days on end, hell yes, get after me, but because she wrote a song herself that he didn't feel was "right" for a girl her age, HELLO???????
But I did not go ballistic, I remained calm and I said, "Melissa has a lot of creative processes in her. She loves to sing and her newest thing is to take pictures but when she takes a crappy shot I don't tell her that it's a crappy shot I tell her what is good about the picture, what is bad about the picture and what she can do to correct the picture. I think she was looking to you to help her possibly improve her song, make it better and come constructive critiques, not just a 'I think you can do better' or 'I expected more from you' comment. A site we recently joined for our photography habit does just that, they help you learn by being constructive and giving you hints and ideas."
He basically told me again that it wasn't appropriate material for her and that he didn't feel she should be singing that in school.
The conversation died shortly after that with him basically ending it with that he was glad he could help and me walking away saying, "Yeah, thanks for nothing."
I went back out to the car and told Melissa that we would have to find another source for her to sound her music ideas on since her teacher didn't really seem interested in helping at this point. To do what she was supposed to do in class, sing what she was told to sing, don't offer to do anything extra of her own at this point because it would probably do more damage than good.
She has basically lost interest in Chorus at this point which really ticks me off because while she may not have the best voice in 6th grade it's still a damn fine voice and she loves to sing and for her teacher to be like he was, just really pushes my button.
Like I said in the beginning, I thought it was their job to encourage the children, not discourage.
Deannda
Don't mess with my kids' heads, that's my job
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