People who point at their wrist while asking for the time. I know where my watch is buddy, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the bathroom is?
People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.
When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Screw off. What good is a goddamn cake if you can't eat it? What, should I eat someone else's cake instead?
When people say "It's always in the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?
When people say, while watching a movie "Did you see that?" No dicknose, I paid $9.00 to come to the theatre and stare at the frigging ceiling up there. What did you come here for?
When something is "new and improved", which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it.
When a cop pulls you over and then asks if you know how fast you were going? You should know asshole, you frigging pulled me over.
When people say "Life is short." What the hell?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What? Are they going to do something that's longer?
When people ask "Can I BORROW a piece of paper?" Sure, but please don't return the favor! It's one god damn piece of paper!
When you are waiting for the bus and someone ask you "Did the bus come yet?" If the bus came I would not be standing here asshole!
People who ask "Can I ask you a question?" Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya buddy?
Perhaps my annoyance is people who get so annoyed by little things.
People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.
But they need to find it, regardless.
When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Screw off. What good is a goddamn cake if you can't eat it? What, should I eat someone else's cake instead?
It means you can't have everything (Sar)
When people say "It's always in the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?
But it's a fact, just stating facts.
When people say, while watching a movie "Did you see that?" No dicknose, I paid $9.00 to come to the theatre and stare at the frigging ceiling up there. What did you come here for?
You may have missed it, just a question. Watch a film twice in quick time, and you will see much more than you did the first time. Did you see teh ghost in 3 men and baby? Not many people did.
When something is "new and improved", which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it.
New means new! as opposed to old. I have a 'new' camera, but that doesn;t mean I have never had one before...
When a cop pulls you over and then asks if you know how fast you were going? You should know asshole, you frigging pulled me over.
They are seeing if you were AWARE of your speed. that is more important than the actual speed your going. ALWAYS SAY YES WHEN ASKED THIS QUESTION! If you didn't know, then you were driving without due care and attention
When people say "Life is short." What the hell?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What? Are they going to do something that's longer?
To many people, life is way too short!
When people ask "Can I BORROW a piece of paper?" Sure, but please don't return the favor! It's one god damn piece of paper!
mmm, will never ask to borrow anythign from you ;)
When you are waiting for the bus and someone ask you "Did the bus come yet?" If the bus came I would not be standing here asshole!
GIRL: I have sinned, a great sin. I called my
boyfriend a BASTARD.
PSYCHIATRIST: Well now, that's not a nice thing to
call anyone, so what
did he do to deserve that?
GIRL: Well, he kissed me.
PSYCHIATRIST: You mean like this?
GIRL: Yes!
PSYCHIATRIST: Well that's no reason to call him a
BASTARD.
GIRL: But, he put his hand in my bra.
PSYCHIATRIST: You mean like this?
GIRL: Yes!
PSYCHIATRIST: Well that's no reason to call him a
BASTARD.
GIRL: But, he took my cloths off.
PSYCHIATRIST: You mean like this?
GIRL: Yes!
PSYCHIATRIST: Well that's no reason to call him a
BASTARD.
GIRL: But, he had sex with me!
PSYCHIATRIST: You mean like this?
GIRL: .Yes!
PSYCHIATRIST: Well that's no reason to call him a
BASTARD.
GIRL: But, he told me he has AIDS.
PSYCHIATRIST: BASTARD!
