The alternative is far preferable to your entry. The deeper contrast adds gravitas to the subject whereas the washed out look of the entry simply appears to be naiive.
The image in your alternative is also sharper, more distinct and generally more atmospheric. Additionally, the composition is superior and more powerful in its presentation. The grain also assists in shrouding what may be a softly focused original.
I gave your entry a 3, but I'd give the alternative a 5-6.
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