The following was started by my Dad (God how I miss him) and I'm trying to add to it in his honor. Anyone got more?
POINTS TO PONDER
Compiled by:
Harvey Holleman
When sign painters go on strike, who paints their signs?
Why are power outages reported on TV?
Why is a package sent by a land carrier called a shipment, while one sent by ship is cargo?
Where do forest rangers go to get away from it all?
Why do we call them apartments when they are all attached to one another?
When you open up a new bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be thrown away?
Why isn’t there mouse flavored cat food?
Why are builders afraid to have a 13th floor while book publishers aren’t afraid to have a Chapter 11?
Why do we call it a TV set when you get only one?
Why isn’t phonetics spelled the way it sounds?
If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands out with soap?
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
If you yelled at your plants and called them ugly names, would they still grow -
only to be troubled and insecure?
Is there another word for synonym?
Isn’t it a bit unnerving when doctors call what they do practicing?
What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
Is it possible to be totally partial?
What’s another word for thesaurus?
If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms - are they afraid someone will clean them?
Why do people that know the least know it the loudest?
If a funeral procession is at night, do they drive with their headlights off?
If a stealth bomber crashes in the woods, will anybody hear it?
If a turtle has no shell, is he called homeless or naked?
Why don’t sheep shrink when it rains?
Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?
If a mime is arrested, do the cops tell him he has the right to remain silent?
Why is the word abbreviation so long?
When they ship Styrofoam, what do they pack it in?
Why do you drive in a parkway and park in a driveway?
I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where train stops.
On my desk, I have a work station...
If quitters never win, and winners never quit,
what fool came up with "quit while you're ahead"?
I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible whole lots more as they get older,
then it dawned on me. They were cramming for their finals.
I thought about how mothers feed their babies with little tiny spoons and forks,
so I wonder what Chinese mothers use...Toothpicks?
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do...write to these men? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while they delivered the mail?
How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there?
If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the OTHERS here for?
Go ahead and take risks.... Just be sure that everything will turn out OK.
If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
How come you don't ever hear about gruntled employees? And who has been dissing them anyhow?
Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why people appear bright until you hear them speak?
If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
I know nobody's asked for answers, but here's 3 of them that have rational answers...
Why do so many old people eat at cafeterias? — It's cheaper.
Why does Wendy's have square hamburgers? — It was an issue of production economics; Dave Thomas was able to save money by mass-producing sheets of Ground beef and stamping them into squares with no wastage. White Castle did it even before he did. The reallyh interesting question is "Why don't all chains use square hamburgers?"
Why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance that little indestructible black box is? — Weight
And here's another unanswerable question: "Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?"
If buttered bread always lands butter side down and a cat always lands on it's feet, what happens if you fasten a slice of buttered bread on the back of the cat?
Under capitalism man exploits man - while under communism it's the other away around.
What's the difference between flammable and inflammable?
Why do people who have sure-fire systems of beating the lottery waste their time and resources giving away their vital secrets to strangers via writing books rather than just becoming filthy rich by quietly beating the lottery themselves?
If buttered bread always lands butter side down and a cat always lands on it's feet, what happens if you fasten a slice of buttered bread on the back of the cat?
Don't know about the cat/bread combination, but here's why bread lands butter side down... seriously!
why is it when you have an empty bucket it is caled a bucket but when you put a lid on it it is called a container.
confucious say man who run behind car always exhausted
confucious say man who go through turnstyles sideways going to Bangkok. (sorry about that one) :o)
If buttered bread always lands butter side down and a cat always lands on it's feet, what happens if you fasten a slice of buttered bread on the back of the cat?
I seriously thought of that one first after reading this thread...
A bunch of us in college had gotten some threads like this together.... funny stuff no doubt...the cat and bread buttered was a bit abstract, I wasn't sure how the DPC culture would adhere to it... kinda like "did not meet challenge" or "dnmc" for those of you that have read thatthread, haha!
