At New York's Kennedy airport today, an individual
later discovered to be a public school teacher was
arrested trying to board a flight while in possession
of a ruler, a protractor, a setsquare, a slide rule,
and a calculator.
At a morning press conference, Attorney general John
Ashcroft said he believes the man is a member of the
notorious al-gebra movement.
He is being charged by the FBI with carrying weapons
of math instruction.
"Al-gebra is a fearsome cult," Ashcroft said. "They
desire average solutions by means and extremes, and
sometimes go off on tangents in a search of absolute
value. They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y'
and refer to themselves as 'unknowns', but we have
determined they belong to a common denominator of the
axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.
As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'there
are 3 sides to every triangle'."
When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush
said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of
math instruction, He would have given us more fingers
and toes."
He could tell you, but then I'd have to, oh, how did they say it in Coneheads...apply sufficient pressure to his blunt skull so as to cause its collapse? Yeah, that's it... LOL ;o)
Seems I am protected by:
Amendment V - Trial and Punishment, Compensation for Takings.
and
Amendment VIII - Cruel and Unusual punishment.
(@_@)
Oh yeah? If you don't fess up pretty soon, your punishemnt will be to post a message for every one that Laurie posts, in every thread, until the next blue moon.
The matter is closed for discussion...I can only say that the report that might include information about a Whataburger drive thru, a curb, an aluminum wheel, a tire, and a matter of $86.17 is largely overstated and mostly (somewhat) untrue. That's my story and I'm stickin' to it. :o)
The matter is closed for discussion...I can only say that the report that might include information about a Whataburger drive thru, a curb, an aluminum wheel, a tire, and a matter of $86.17 is largely overstated and mostly (somewhat) untrue. That's my story and I'm stickin' to it. :o)
