More specifically, we don't buy into the commercial aspects of it at my home, but at the same time we enjoy having a "day" in the depths of winter that's special and signals a small celebration. We defer our night out until the 15th... We enjoy it, we look forward to it.
On the subject of "fake", I assume you're referring to the commercialization of it? That's gone a bit overboard, but show me a "real" holiday that hasn't, actually... In the meanwhile, considering how much most couples in my experience tend to take each other for granted (especially the guys), how is it a Bad Thing to have a holiday that reminds them to DO something with their significant other? Valentine's Day and Anniversaries, Birthdays: 4 special days *Just For You* a year?
Or am I just a sap? I'm seasoning up a leg of lamb right now, and making some croutons; we'll have roast lamb, roast potatoes, Caesar salad, and asparagus I believe, though the menu is open to negotiation. Then TOMORROW night we go out! To a Brazilian Rodizia...
My wife knows i don't do valentines day, if you are celebrating it because you earnestly enjoy it, that's great, and i applaud. It just seems that most people succumb because they feel they have to. Paying inflated prices to show affection. You're right, I guess you could say the same for any holiday.
It seems that its become a pissing contest to show of how much someone loves you.
It seems that its become a pissing contest to show of how much someone loves you.
Well, as long as you show her how much you love her in meaningful ways, it's all good. As for us, as I said, it's the dead of winter in the dreary Northeast, and it's nice to have a specific date to point for and prepare for. I kinda like it, in a low-key way :-)
I don't 'celebrate' V. Day, but do acknowledge it with a card or a special thing. No buying of gifts allowed, 'handmade' only. I sent a video of me singing to my long distance love... We both agree that we feel the same way every day, and try to express it every day, so V day is just the icing on the cake.
I HATE the pushiness of the card etc. companies, the implication that women are only happy with 'bling', etc. Money grubbing muttermuttermutter...
I don't 'celebrate' V. Day, but do acknowledge it with a card or a special thing. No buying of gifts allowed, 'handmade' only. I sent a video of me singing to my long distance love... We both agree that we feel the same way every day, and try to express it every day, so V day is just the icing on the cake.
I HATE the pushiness of the card etc. companies, the implication that women are only happy with 'bling', etc. Money grubbing muttermuttermutter...
I agree with everything you said. But there are people out there that have bought into it so much that if you don't.... Well they get bitchy lol. They act like you forgot your anniversary or something.
I always thought the guys who bitch about valentine's day were jerks. (sorry Mike)
It seemed awfully convenient to say "I don't do valentine's day. I don't believe in the commercialism, so screw you."
Why does valentine's day mean you have to buy something? I enjoy coming up with something to do for my family. Yes. It's commercialized. But it's nice to have yet another excuse to do something fun and silly for someone you love. What's wrong with packing up peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and going for a walk along the river and having a picnic? You're not spending the money.
But then again, I love holidays, because I make them into what I want them to be. Not because I'm bowing to peer pressure. When other kids are receiving store bought presents on valentine's day, I make my own, something special and silly to let them know I love them. Do I do that other days, too? Yes.
Don't you think your wife has a small part of her that wishes you would enjoy a holiday that gives you an excuse to celebrate your love? Don't you think just a teeny weeny part of her feels bad that other wives are getting their husband's attention and affection for an evening, but it's just another day for her?
It's not about the gifts, guys. It's about the attention.
But I still got out some scissors, markers, a used file folder, and made a mushy card complete with poem. Maybe I'll toss in a couple of pairs of earplugs and label them, "For the kids at bedtime."
But I still got out some scissors, markers, a used file folder, and made a mushy card complete with poem. Maybe I'll toss in a couple of pairs of earplugs and label them, "For the kids at bedtime."
Well, since we are about 2000 miles apart today, I went ahead and sent a local shop a bit of $$ to deliver a teddy bear and a candle to her.
Normally we don't really buy stuff for V-day, but given the circumstances a handmade gift would have been a logistical nightmare (she's traveling, and will be in any given place for only a few hours, so timing is critical.)
ETA: This was certainly not because I felt I had to... Only because I wanted to.
I don't get into the gifts or the commercialization, but I do think it is a cop out to say you don't do Valentines day. Sure if you make an effort once a week, or every day to do something special for your wife or loved ones then valentines shouldn't be a big deal. After all you were going to do something anyway right? If you don't, well then you really ought to try at least once a year to do something special.
And I second, or third, Wendy's comment. It's not about the gifts, it's about the attention. Do something nice for her, like straiten up the house or do the dishes. Chances are you will get paid back big time later on.
... it's about the attention. Do something nice for her, like straiten up the house or do the dishes. Chances are you will get paid back big time later on.
... it's about the attention. Do something nice for her, like straiten up the house or do the dishes. Chances are you will get paid back big time later on.
... or go downtown.
Always a good suggestion... Particularly if there are any ongoing urban renewal projects in the area... ;)
Of course, my maiden name is Valentine, so for the first several years of my life, I thought it was a holiday for my family and me.
Though I *know* better than that now, I still believe it is a special day for my family and me.
(Family trivia -- my paternal grandfather's (The Valentine patriarch) birthday was February 14th, and he and my grandmother's wedding anniversary was February 14th.)
Of course, my maiden name is Valentine, so for the first several years of my life, I thought it was a holiday for my family and me.
Though I *know* better than that now, I still believe it is a special day for my family and me.
(Family trivia -- my paternal grandfather's (The Valentine patriarch) birthday was February 14th, and he and my grandmother's wedding anniversary was February 14th.)
maybe that's my defiance, my birthday was yesterday...
Of course, my maiden name is Valentine, so for the first several years of my life, I thought it was a holiday for my family and me.
Though I *know* better than that now, I still believe it is a special day for my family and me.
(Family trivia -- my paternal grandfather's (The Valentine patriarch) birthday was February 14th, and he and my grandmother's wedding anniversary was February 14th.)
maybe that's my defiance, my birthday was yesterday...
hehe. I hope she skipped your birthday because birthdays are way too commercialized. :P
