my fiance had gas so bad in boot camp that his fellow roomies threatened to beat him up if he didnt stop farting. he said he had to sleep with his spray deodorant to keep the smell down while he was laying in bed. he also said he farted alot in formation and the guys standing around him were really angry. he said it must have been the food and how they have to eat really fast because he barely ever farts now. LUCKY ME!
hey... if you ever meet my wife, ask her about the time in line at Wal-Mart when she started to giggle... right before the lady behind us in line started to cough and choke...
My best buddy & I had been out on the town in Manhattan, had a knarly lunch of chili, chips & beer, wandered about the town taking pictures and eventually went up to the Empire state Building. After seeing what was to be seen and taking lots of pictures - you know, that stuff called film, we proceeded to the elevator to head back down and were the last two in.
Well one "fell out", silently of course, and should have carried with it an environmental Biohazard warning, and was perhaps the absolute worst smell that has ever left my body, even to this day. By now, my face was in a terrific pain from holding back an outburst of laughter, my body tense with muscle spasms holding back the involuntary movements associated with laughter. sounds could be heard behind us of people shuffling, though it was a packed elevator, occasional coughs were heard, making holding back the laughter even worse.
Nearing the end of the 100+ story ride down, an elderly woman, in a shrill voice, said: "Is something burning?".
About that time the elevator came to a slow stop, the doors opened, and the two of us burst out of the elevator, exploding in laughter and never looked back as we made a mad dash as far away from the coughing passengers, never to look back and see what damage was caused to them, as we were sure the pain would have been evident on their faces.
Yes, this is a true story.
My friend and I have kept in touch of the years, and all it takes is to say "Is something burning?" and neither of us can talk for a few moments.... I can still hear her voice 20+ years later.
As you get older you dont care where you let rip! Also you can sometimes have no control, there you are walking through the office when farp off one goes - they just creep out, honest! Hell if I need to I need to!
Back when I was in school one of my buddies had come over to the house and decided to hang out. My grandfather lived with us and he raised beagles. My buddy and I were sitting around watching TV, drinking Cokes and eating God-only-knows-what when Scott leans forward and produces a sound that must have carried quite well because we heard from my grandfather from the other room start banging on the window and yelling at the dogs to "Hush up out there! You stop that barkin'!"
It does seem to be a male thing though, doesn't it.... Women and girls fart but it never seems to have the whole humor thing it does for men.
Nature runs it's course no matter what the sex.
Just men are more into a huge wind-up, a fast ball pitch and wait to hear the screams as it's delivered.
Women would rather roll it quietly to home base in stealth mode - you know - lower case ffffffffff....
